Bird Call Review

Bird calls are incredibly diverse. But are they all good? Are some just okay? Can a bird call be sexy? Let's find out.

Birds on Branch
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  • Northern Mockingbird

    Jeremy and Michael review the Northern Mockingbird and discuss Cal Worthington’s pussy-cow, decision trees for shooting animals vs children, products we love, clothes we hate, Dr. Dick & Co’s penis transplants, Dr. Heimlich’s maneuvering, gross children, birth control ads, lose-lose disciplinary action, Elmer the Grunch®, fictional cookie backstories, white male action movie strippers, Making America Mic-Drop Again, and asian spaghetti.

  • Mexican Whip-poor-will

    Jeremy and Michael review the Mexican Whip-poor-will and discuss nature’s cold indifference, drinking games for children, Channing Taitum’s football career, Missing Missy, asshole doppelgängers, asshole GoPros, chinks and redskins, being a literal pussy, attractive scientists, burning children and friends, stabbing and sex, knowing Adolf, adopting Pluto, getting the job done, and all the long ways always takes.

  • Tufted Titmouse

    Jeremy and Michael review the Tufted Titmouse and discuss TurboTax-shaming guilt, ornithological songwriting, nostalgia peer-pressure, glacial humblebrags of glacial proportions, the $2 not-having-to-do-math-with-your-friends tax, the statical relationship of money and problems, and glass punting. Michael uses a bunch of jargon to ask absolutely nothing about taste and Jeremy has a clarifying moment that leads him to retract his criticism of the Vegetti.

  • Carolina Wren

    Jeremy and Michael review the Carolina Wren and discuss scattered Chalet servers, Crossfit cults, pre-tipping, APM shaming, Italian margins and French Toast, pallets of butter and at-cost corndogs, why old comedians suck, puppies, sunsets, and sex.

  • Mourning Dove

    Jeremy and Michael review the Mourning Dove and discuss mass cat breeding, Jeremy’s NRA cap and ass-boots, bulk dildos on Amazon Prime, grammar pleasures, Nike-swooped fifth wheels, “h” phoenetics, Lego APR, and self-aware salesman.

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